The Onion’s tips on how to “butch up” your effeminate little boy’s Halloween costume choice. Included: How to deal with prancers, lispers, and boys with long, effeminate eyelashes. “If you want your child to depict a male-dominated profession, be very careful not to choose one that’s been co-opted by the gay community like a fireman, a cop, a cowboy… otherwise they’ll just end up looking like a stripper.” This describes every Halloween of my childhood.
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