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#QueerQuote: ”Sometimes I Think That Not Having to Worry About Your Hair Anymore is the Secret Upside of Death.” – Nora Ephron

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Nora Ephron (1941-2012) was a journalist, blogger, essayist, novelist, Tony Award-nominated playwright, and an Academy Award-nominated screenwriter and director. She was a rarity in a film industry dominated by men.

After graduating from Beverly Hills High School in 1958 and Wellesley in 1961, she began writing, and in the summer of 1961, she was an intern in the White House. She said that perhaps her greatest accomplishment there was rescuing the Speaker of the House, Sam Rayburn, from a West Wing bathroom where he had inadvertently locked himself. Ephron also wrote said she was also probably the only intern that President John F. Kennedy had never hit on.

In her essay collection I Feel Bad About My Neck (2006) she wrote:

”When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

”If my elbows faced forward, I would kill myself.”

In her novel Heartburn (1983), inspired by her marriage to Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein, she wrote:

”The major concrete achievement of the Women’s Movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat.”

A character, a stand in for Ephron herself, in Heartburn tells her therapist:

”Let’s face it, everyone is the one person on earth you shouldn’t get involved with.”

Ephron, who was married three times, wrote:

‘Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet Magazine.”

More great Ephron quips:

“As far as the men who are running for president are concerned, they aren’t even people I would date.”

“In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.”

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

 “I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”

”Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.”

”My religion is Get Over It.”

”Black makes your life so much simpler. Everything matches black, especially black.”

”In a socialist country you can get rich by providing necessities, while in a capitalist country you can get rich by providing luxuries.”

”The internet is the superhighway of grammatically incorrect moral outrage.”

She was a great wit, yet Ephron was also a serious role model for women, to whom she once issued this perfectly unfunny advice:

”Above all, be the hero of your life, not the victim.”

 


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